


Butterflies With Broken Wings

by TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27



Series: JATP Week 2020 [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Best Friends, Child Neglect, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Miracles, Christmas Party, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fights, Friendship/Love, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Meeting the Parents, Minor Injuries, Music, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Phone Calls & Telephones, Popcorn, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27/pseuds/TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27
Summary: Luke has always loved the scribbles his soulmate leaves on his skin, everything from flowers to little bits of music she's written. It's why he learned to play guitar in the first place, to feel closer to her, but it's never enough. On Christmas eve Luke finds himself alone in the city wishing to meet this mysterious girl more than ever before, can one chance encounter really change your whole world?
Relationships: Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: JATP Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002168
Comments: 166
Kudos: 506
Collections: JATP Appreciation Week





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of my JATP week is complete! More Juke because I can't help myself. This is an all-human soulmate AU where only one person has the ability to write on the other person's skin and only the person who gets little notes knows for sure. They can't use the ability to communicate since it is one-sided and so the only way to find your soulmate is to touch their skin.

For as long as Luke could remember he had always had small inky flowers crawling up his hands and arms, sometimes he even found them on his feet and up his legs. He loved the ever-changing designs, lyrics, and even little bits of melodies that were inked onto his body.

He knew some of his friends who found the occasional small note written on their skin, but not like his. He was sure it was because his soulmate was special.

Honestly, he hadn't even met her and she had changed his life, he learned to play guitar so he could strum out the melodies she wrote on her skin and he pretty much abandoned sleeves entirely so everyone could see his every changing tattoos.

He knew that out of every pair of soulmates only one could write messages on the skin of the other and that usually, only the person who received the images knew. That had taken some explaining when Luke was little and he'd been upset that his soulmate wasn't responding to his messy scribbles of "Hi I'm Luke I am 10 years old" or "I like music"

Coincidentally it was also his parents who were always trying to cover his tattoos as a kid, convinced that the images that set him apart from everyone else would somehow prevent him from making friends, fitting in, getting good grades, and eventually a respectable job to provide for his future wife since any girl who spent her days drawing on her own skin would never be able to do that herself.

Luke thought that was one of the stupidest things he'd ever heard in his life because she was clearly the most extraordinary person in the world.

Currently Luke was sitting in his room strumming another chord on his acoustic guitar, carefully playing the notes as they appeared on his arm, humming along. "I can't help falling in love with you…" he whispered, reading the small words that had appeared beneath the music notes.

Reaching for his phone and opening Spotify, he scrolled past all the recent Christmas searches and opened the playlist that was labeled as just a red heart. He opened the tab that said 'add song' and clicked Can't help falling in love with you adding it to his playlist of songs he knew she liked and clicking play.

Luke flopped over backward on his bed and listened to the familiar melody filling his bedroom. He could hear his mom bustling around outside his door and inviting in family members for the big Christmas eve dinner.

Grumbling he turned up the stereo and buried his face in the pillows. Eventually, he turned off the phone and went back to his notebook. He moved the black songwriting one and grabbed the purple one where he had written every lyric or melody that his soulmate had written on her skin since he first started learning guitar in fifth grade.

He pulled the notebook towards him and put it on the music stand opening it to the first page, playing the oldest melody in the book, the first she'd ever written.

He hadn't even met this girl yet and she was the best part of everything in his life.

It was her drawings that had set him apart from his picture-perfect family, she was the one who had let him be his messy self, without her he might not ever have discovered music (although he doubted it.)

"Luke honey, everyone's waiting for you" his mom called knocking on the door and interrupting his daydreaming. Luke didn't answer, too focused on the flowers slowly growing up his arm and curling around his finger. Luke's mom sighed and threw Luke a suit jacket, "can you please cover those?" she asked.

Luke hated it, his parents had never had a single line of ink on their skin, just the warm glow that came from touching your soulmate's skin for the first time. Luke was so glad that his soulmate wasn't like that but he had to admit he was pretty tired of waiting to meet her.

"Luke, now," his mom said. Luke ignored the tie and suit jacket, unbuttoning the top buttons on his shirt. His mother frowned, she loved him but she didn't get the soulmate thing. His parents were almost equally boring in their love, as weird as it sounded.

Luke's parents had been married twenty years and his love story with his soulmate was already more interesting even though he'd never met her.

Groaning Luke steeled himself for another dull night with his family. He wasn't close to any of them and they were all accountants, bankers, doctors, lawyers, and all kinds of other boring jobs.

"Luke!" his grandmother called, embracing him with far more enthusiasm than was warranted "how's school been?" one of his uncles asked, steering him over to the couch.

"Uh okay I guess," he said, in all honesty, that was very far from the truth, he hated school, it was pointless and it took time away from things that actually mattered to him.

"Lukes in a rock band," his mother said, disapprovingly. Like a pack of starving dogs, his family descended on him.

By the time they had sat down the conversation had redirected itself. Distracted by the unbelievably dull dinner and crammed between two old aunts who were wearing so much perfume he was practically dying trying to get a breath. Rolling up his sleeves Luke traced the butterflies that were covering his forearm, there were splashes of colors on the butterflies as though his girl had laid down her arm in a paint tray, again.

"Luke, have you gotten a tattoo?" someone asked dubiously. "No" he responded with a smile "but my soulmate is quite the artist," he said with a smile, proud to be talking about such an important part of his life.

"That's unseemly young man, cover your arms' ' Luke froze at his grandmother's harsh words. While his parents didn't approve of the designs and often encouraged him to cover them they would never be so blatantly rude about it.

They might not understand him but they knew how important she was to him, and how much pride he took in those designs.

"What?" Luke asked almost too shocked to process "No one who draws on their own skin could possibly be a good influence, and she has already proven that if what Emily said about her being the reason you started playing in that godforsaken rock band in the first place is true."

Luke was frozen, he didn't get along with his family sure, but they were still his family…

But he had never been so angry in his entire life and every time he opened his mouth he closed it again without saying a word. Finally, he spit out a few words "never speak about her like that again" he growled out.

Pushing his chair away violently Luke practically ran out of the room and into the cold night air.

No one tried to stop him and before he really knew what he was doing he was running as fast as he could down the street. When he couldn't run any farther he signaled a cab, and that's how he came to be standing alone in the city of Angels on Christmas Eve without a coat.

Deciding he wanted to do something distinctly Christmasy and not wanting to bother Alex and Reggie he made his way to the ice skating rink the three of them went to every year.

He walked up to the counter and ignored the weird looks he was receiving as he grabbed some skates and walked over to the bench.

He didn't have a sweatshirt or gloves or anything and he was freezing.

By the time he got on the ice he was frozen and shaking from the cold but he couldn't go home, he was banned from Alex's house, Bobby was out of town, and Christmas was one of the only days Reggie's parents didn't seem to fight.

He knew he had nowhere to go so he kept skating in circles until someone suddenly slammed into him, knocking him flat on his back, all the air flew out of his lungs and he couldn't get a breath in. He was spinning across the ice until his head slammed into the barrier.

"Ugh…" he moaned moving a hand to his forehead. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, are you alright? Well, that's a stupid question of course you're not" she muttered holding out a hand and helping pull him to his feet. The girl in question had flushed cheeks and beautiful brown curls that bounced as she moved, struggling to pull him to his feet.

By the time he had fully regained his breath the girl was pushing him down onto a bench and brushing his hair away from his eyes with gloved fingers. "I'm so sorry, I'll be right back," She said running away and leaving Luke even more disoriented than before, his head pounding.

As soon as the girl came back over she pulled off her gloves and pressed the ice to his face, still mumbling apologies. "It's alright" Luke tried again "it was an accident." He said and she gave him a nervous smile.

"You know I probably would've got hurt anyways," he said with a breathy laugh that made him wince at how fake it sounded.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, holding the ice to his head, Luke only nodded in response. 

"Why are you here all alone at night on Christmas eve," she asked curiously which made Luke's shoulders drop as he remembered "you know, family drama" she nodded her head and pulled her gloves off while humming a little tune under her breath.

She reached a hand up to brush his brown fringe away from his eyes and he leaned forward instinctively making her fingertips brush against his forehead over the tender skin.

The warmth was instantaneous, washing over his cold aching body like sunshine and childhood and all the best moments of his life. He found himself breathless, staring at the beautiful girl in front of him, unable to process what had just happened.

Without a word Luke reached forward and pulled up her jacket sleeve revealing paint smeared butterflies on her forearm.


	2. Christmas Miracles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not planning on continuing this story but the amount of support I received on the first chapter really inspired me. I'm not sure if I will continue this story or not, comment if you want another chapter and what you'd like to see :)

Luke stared at her in complete awe as she ran a hand nervously over his knuckles where his hand was gently gripping her sleeve. All those times he’d teased Reggie for being a puppy in human form and now he was trying not to do the same thing. There were so many things he wanted to know about her! What was she like, what was her family like, what did she love, what did she hope and dream for? 

The thing that finally brought Luke back to reality was his soulmates fingers tightening over his and removing his grip from her sweater “Oh, uh, I’m sorry” he stuttered lamely trying to remember any of the things he had said in any of the thousands of times he had imagined this moment. 

“Uh, my name is Luke,” he said quickly, almost holding out a hand for her to shake before realizing how weird that would be and letting his hand comb through his hair instead, carefully avoiding the open cut on his forehead. It was a nervous habit he’d picked up from Alex. 

She had a slightly dazed expression on her face but her lips were turned up in a small smile that made his stomach do somersaults. “I’m Julie Molina,” she said with a bright smile. The sound of her voice made a huge goofy grin spread across his face, he knew he probably looked like an idiot but he couldn’t stop smiling. 

He couldn’t wait to tell Alex and Reggie he finally met her! 

“Patterson, it’s Luke Patterson” he added dumbly which made her laugh, it was the best sound he had ever heard. “So, you like music?” Luke asked her trying not to bounce around, he could imagine Alex’s fondly exasperated expression and Reggie's contagious grin if they could see his antics. 

Julie's smile faded just the smallest bit and the spark in her eyes seemed to diminish, Luke felt his heart clench and his hands seemed to be sweating as he wiped them on his half-buttoned dress shirt. 

“I used to” was all she said before giving him a very fake smile. “I’m sorry,” Luke said confused and a little panicked. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he added. “It’s fine,” Julie said awkwardly “So what do you like to do?” 

From there the conversation flowed more easily, he learned that she had a brother named Carlos and that her best friends were Flynn, Carrie, and Nick. She loved breakfast, family, game nights, art, and Disney movies. In turn, she learned about Alex, Reggie, and his parents. How much he loved Star Wars, Rock n’ Roll, and the beach. 

It was weird to get to know somebody for the first time and know you belonged together. Of course, not all soulmate relationships were the same, some people felt the bond as an all-encompassing love where others described it as a simple and somewhat plain attraction, some soulmates didn’t even have a romantic connection but Luke had known her for all of ten minutes and he never wanted to leave her side again. 

“So all those years I’ve been drawing on myself you’ve seen it?” she asked after he recounted the story of why he learned guitar. Luke nodded a little trying not to let his teeth chatter, it was really cold!

“I’m so sorry that must’ve been annoying, I guess I just assumed you never wrote on yourself and…” she trailed off “No it’s alright, I loved it” when she smiled at him he returned it enthusiastically. 

They had gone back outside to meet up with her dad and her brother and the moonlight was illuminating the soft smile on her face. 

Luke really wanted to kiss her but he realized that while he knew her incredibly well from all the notes she’d written herself over the years and the very personal lyrics he had seen she didn’t have that connection with him growing up. 

If he kissed her he’d come across as one of those people who think they have some kind of creepy claim on their soulmate, and he didn’t think that. 

As they rounded the corner he saw a man chasing a younger boy around on ice skates, neither of them was very good but they seemed really happy, he couldn’t remember ever being that happy with his parents. 

“That’s my dad and my brother Carlos,” Julie said pointing at them, Carlos raised an arm and waved at Julie who waved back. Luke couldn’t help but smile at the happy scene in front of him. “You should probably go back over there I think they're waiting for you,” Luke said with a sad smile, he really didn’t want her to leave because then he’d have to go home and then, well he’d be at home with his mom and he didn’t want the conflict he knew was coming to ruin this amazing day. 

“Why don’t you come to meet them?” she asked casually oblivious to the way it made Luke’s heart skip a beat “Ya sure sounds great Jules,” he said teasingly she practically growled at him and shot him a glare but she didn’t pull her hand away and instead tugged him roughly toward the ice rink with a cute scowl on her face. 

Luke could feel the sweat beading along his hands and he wiped the unoccupied hand against the stuffy dress pants, this was so not his scene. He would play in front of a thousand people with little to no nerves, he could handle Reggie and Alex after even the worst days, he hadn’t had any issues with Bobby’s parents but this was so unbelievably different. 

“Hey Dad, I’d like you to meet Luke,” she said pushing him lightly when he didn’t respond “Oh hello, are you a friend of Julie's from school?” he asked with a sort of confused smile on his face. Luke looked at Julie unsure whether or not she wanted her dad to know.

“Um…” he looked over at her and saw her nod slightly “No I’m Julie's soulmate,” he said holding out a hand. Ray shook his hand firmly, narrowing his eyes just the slightest bit. Luke had to try very hard not to audibly gulp. 

“Well it’s Christmas Eve and I’m sure you all want to be together as a family,” Luke said fake smile firmly in place as he tried not to think about sneaking in through his own window to avoid his mom. Maybe he should just crash at Bobby's; the rhythm guitarist left him a key assuming something like this would happen. While he may be closer to Alex and Reggie having known them since kindergarten and seventh grade respectively they were a bit more gullible when it came to his whole ‘I’m fine, things are great at home act.’ 

Ray nodded and Luke awkwardly shuffled around aware that there was nothing left he could do to avoid going home, and at this rate, he would probably have a cold by morning, since when was LA so cold? And why was he without a jacket the one time Alex wasn’t there with blankets, hand warmers, and a fluffy hoodie? 

“Okay well I guess I’ll see you around hopefully…” he trailed off for the first time worried, what if Julie hadn’t liked him all that much and she didn’t want to see him again? What if… “Here's my number Luke,” Julie said, scribbling the numbers down on the back of her hand, Luke watched with a happy smile as the numbers appeared on his hand. 

“Awesome, great, so ya I’ll see you around,” Luke said, giving her a nervous smile and running through his hair. Julie offered him a soft smile and turned to leave with her family. Luke let out a quiet sigh and opened the Uber app on his phone, he slipped through the shortcut that led to the parking lot and sat down on the curb. 

With his head in his hands, Luke recounted the fight with his parents and meeting Julie, god she was perfect, the literal dream girl. The only thing that didn’t make sense was why she didn’t want to talk about music. 

Deciding not to waste his time dwelling on everything he tried to decide what to do next. He realized that he couldn’t go home and that really only left Bobby’s. So he’d get an Uber and he’d crash on the couch and in the morning Alex would come over and they could spend the morning together. Reggie would probably be over sometime in the afternoon when the peaceful atmosphere of his home descended once more into chaos and they could spend the day watching Netflix and maybe go to his house for dinner in the evening if his extended family was gone. 

“Luke?” he looked up to see the Molina’s walking towards him “Oh hey Jules, I thought you guys left,” he said smiling at her “we ran back to grab Dad’s keys, he forgot them” Julie explained, frowning. 

The expression didn’t look right at all, she had a face made for smiles. 

“What’re you still doing here?” Julie asked as Luke fiddled uncomfortably with his sleeves. “I’m just waiting for an Uber,” he said with a semi-genuine smile “Where're you going?” Carlos asked the question Julie and Ray were clearly thinking. “I’m going to my friend Bobby’s house,” Luke said “Oh cool, what are you guys going to do? When we get home we’re getting new PJ’s, we always get new PJ’s on Christmas Eve” Carlos informed him very matter of factly as Julie blushed. 

“Well he’s out of town with his parents but I might hang with my friends tomorrow if they can get away for a bit and we might go to the beach or watch Netflix,” Luke said without thinking anything of it, until, that is he saw the concerned looks the Molina family were wearing. Maybe he’d said something wrong.

He wracked his brain but he couldn’t think of a single thing he’d said wrong, why were words so easy when he was writing but as soon as he had to talk he messed things up! 

“You’re going to spend Christmas alone?” Julie asked concerned, and then he understood, they were worried about him. “Ya, but it’s fine really like I said my friends are going to come over tomorrow,” Luke said, expecting the conversation to end. But then Carlos pitched in “well why don’t you come over?” Carlos asked which made everyone turn to look at him. 

Luke was fully expecting them to laugh and awkwardly brush aside his words but instead, they were all watching him, waiting for an answer. “Oh no it’s fine I don’t want to intrude and I will be fine at Bobby’s,” he said smiling “You really are welcome and a few of Julie’s close friends are coming over and I’m sure everyone would like to meet you.” Luke hesitated feeling completely unsure what to do. 

He didn’t want to intrude on Julie and her friends special Christmas eve pajama party, he looked over at her for a second and saw her roll her eyes almost fondly “you should come over and meet everyone” that made his heart skip a beat “Okay sure, I’ll go! Sounds great!” he said a little too quickly. 

“Wait, I’m sorry I have to go to Bobby’s any way to get clothes, it’s just kind of cold and…” Ray was looking at him with a confused expression “well we’ll just bring you by on our way home and you can grab something” Luke was shocked at how calm and normal and nice they were, he could almost hear his Mom yelling at him for making someone go out of their way to get his clothes, especially someone he didn’t know. 

As he climbed into the car Luke couldn’t help but think how much Alex and Reggie would love Julie and her family. Ray opened the door and pulled Julie into the passenger side seat leaving Luke to get into the back of the car with Carlos but he didn’t mind. 

When they got to Bobby’s house Luke was quick to run inside “I’ll only be a minute, I’m just gonna change and grab some stuff, I promise I’ll be quick!” he shouted. 

After unlocking the door Luke headed up to Bobby’s room and grabbed the clothes he kept in a knapsack on the closet floor. He found some jeans, a sleeveless tee, and a sweatshirt. He pulled the clothes on quickly and ran back down the stairs and out the back door, locking it behind him. 

He rushed out to the car and when he opened the door Carlos was laughing like a maniac, he sent Julie a questioning look before sliding into the back seat. “What’s so funny?” Luke asked prodding Carlos in the ribs aware of the full pout on his face. 

“It’s just that s-suddenly you actually l-l-look like someone that could b-be Julie’s soulmate” Carlos forced out every word through his laughter “before you looked like some prissy rich kid” he laughed which made Luke blush and look down, he hadn’t thought it was that bad. 

Ray joined in laughing with Carlos as Julie buried her face in her arms groaning, even though they were making fun of him he couldn’t stop smiling. Two hours ago everything had felt hopeless and now he was sitting in a car with his soulmate and her family on the way to a Christmas party, maybe Christmas miracles really did exist.


	3. PJ Parties and Popcorn Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay still not sure how far I'm going to take this story but I appreciate the support. I'll keep updating if people are still interested in reading. Also Happy Thanksgiving!!! this is your present because I know times are crazy and everyone deserves something nice today.

Julie watched Luke as he walked up to the door next to her Dad and Carlos, she’d never really given much thought to soulmates. Even though her parents had been madly in love she’d never really believed that you’d just see someone and ‘bam’ love. 

Relationships took hard work, that’s what her parents had always told her and what she’d always believed. It was part of the reason she only had three friends, they were just the people she was willing to put in the work for. 

With Luke it wasn’t like that, it really was easy in every way. She had known him for less than two hours and somehow they were already joking around like old friends, it was the most she’d smiled since her mom died a year ago. 

And even if it had been embarrassing she had honestly been a bit relieved when he’d come back into the car wearing a sleeveless tee-shirt, old hoodie, and faded jeans. 

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Carlos tugging her sleeve “done staring at Luke yet?” he asked with a smirk on his face. Julie could feel the heat flood to her cheeks as she glanced up at Luke only to find him watching her. He just gave her an incredibly dorky smile which made his green eyes crinkle at the corners, she couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

They got out of the car and Julie led Luke up to the front door. She was instantly hit by a blur of purple fur and box braids “Julie!” Flynn screamed, launching herself at her best friend as Carrie fondly rolled her eyes and pulled Flynn off of Julie. Nick also smiled and hugged her, stepping back to allow Carrie room, unfortunately, the blonde girl was still holding back Flynn who was practically vibrating with energy. “She had like five mugs of hot chocolate and a bag of mini marshmallows,” Nick explained. 

Julie smiled at the familiar chaos but she was still a little worried her friends would scare Luke off when she looked back at him though he seemed only moderately taken aback. 

“Hey guys,” Julie started waiting to get her friend's attention. “I’d like you to meet my soulmate Luke” she finished pushing him forward. Carrie and Nick were smiling and Nick stepped forward to shake Luke's hand and introduce himself. 

After Nick stepped back Flynn ripped herself out of Carrie's arms and threw herself at Luke “So you’re Luke, we’ve heard a lot about you!” Flynn started making Carrie and Nick roll their eyes. 

Flynn eyed Luke for a minute like she was trying to make a decision “You’re in a band?” she asked Luke and he looked a little too adorable when he was surprised. “how’d you know that?” Flynn tapped her chin like she was trying to think of how to explain a complicated issue to a young child. “You’re wearing what is clearly a band T-shirt and it’s from a band I’ve never heard of” Luke snorted in indignation starting to say something about Sunset Curves growing popularity (which Luke had already told Julie all about) before Flynn interrupted him “and if I haven’t heard of it while practically living with these three music fanatics it’s probably not on Spotify. Not to mention Julie's soulmate is obviously going to be a musician.” 

Luke was staring at Flynn as if she’d just shot fire out of her hands rather than just being moderately observant. “So what instrument do you play?” Luke looked around at Nick and Julies smiling faces “guitar” he said slowly while watching Flynn's contemplative expression.

Luke looked over at Julie confused before turning back to Flynn who had narrowed her eyes “I like you, but if you hurt her Carrie and I have a list of at least 150 very painful ways to kill you. Welcome to the family!” She said hugging Luke again before falling backward into Nick's arms. 

Julie could feel the blush spreading up her face and down her chest, Luke was going to think they were insane and then… “So is Nick going to help kill me too?” Luke asked with a bright smile in place. “Nah, Nick's way too much of a sweetheart” Carrie responded ruffling Nick's hair as he dropped her squirming soulmate back onto her lap. 

All Julie could think about was how perfect Luke was as he sat down on the couch with Nick. They had dragged him to a Christmas party and he had his life threatened ten minutes after arriving and yet he was sitting on the couch with Nick talking about different types of guitars. 

“Can we watch a movie?” Flynn asked from where she had her face buried in Carrie's shoulder. “Sure, what do you want to watch?” Ray asked, turning on the TV. “Lilo and Stitch!” Flynn said from where she was clearly having a major sugar crash. 

Luke looked, for the first time, worried, his brow was furrowed and he was practically begging her not to put Lilo and Stitch on, on Christmas eve. His lips were parted slightly like he was trying to decide whether to vocalize his opinion. Julie decided to take pity on him and help out a bit.

“Flynn it’s Christmas eve, we’re watching a Christmas movie okay” Flynn grumbled something about Lilo and Stitch being a Christmas movie in response but Julie barely heard as she was so absorbed by staring at the bright smile that had broken out across Luke's face. 

“Why don’t you pick the movie, Luke?” Carries offered, pinching Julie's leg to stop her from staring. “Oh, uh sure” Luke stuttered also turning his eyes away from his soulmate “Well we usually watch, uh, Love Actually” he whispered as a bright pink blush spread across his cheeks. 

Julie felt the laugh bubble out of her chest before she could stop it, she felt bad laughing at him but the fact that he and his two male bandmates watched Love Actually together on Christmas eve was pretty funny. “Oh my god, are you sure you're not Nick's soulmate?” Carrie asked laughing. When Julie looked over at Nick’s face she could see the bright smile, they had always teased him for loving that movie and that was when he was wearing a fluffy reindeer onesie, but Luke wanting to watch it while dressed like some punk rock wannabe was even better. 

As the chaos calmed down they set up the movie and settled into silence, occasionally laughing or commenting on the movie. Flynn was asleep on Carrie's chest, drooling lightly onto the dusty pink satin pajamas. Nick was sitting in between Carrie and Julie watching the movie with a creepy level of intensity, and finally, Julie was sandwiched between Nick and Luke. 

At the beginning of the movie she’d been sitting up trying not to lean on either of them but now she was sprawled across them both. Her tousled brown curls were spread across Luke’s chest where her head rested and her feet were propped up on Nick's lap, adorned with fuzzy dinosaur socks. 

As the movie ended Julie started to push herself up into a position where she could grab the remote only to see Luke sound asleep beneath her. He looked younger when he was asleep, even with the easy smile and adorable expressions she had grown used to in the last couple of hours there was a tension there that she had not noticed until seeing its absence. She couldn’t help brushing his light brown hair away from his eyes like she had hours earlier. 

The cut on his forehead had scabbed over and the dark bruise was spreading across his forehead and into his hairline. She felt bad for bumping into him but she couldn’t bring herself to regret it, it just felt right. 

Lukes phone had been buzzing every few minutes since halfway through the movie but Julie couldn’t bring herself to wake him, luckily Nick and Carrie took care of that for them when Nick got bored and decided to play with Carrie's hair (knowing the other girl hated when people that weren’t Flynn touched her hair.) 

As soon as Nick ran his fingers through the golden strands Carrie shot up from the couch sending the popcorn bowl that had been sitting on her lap flying up until it hit Nick in the face. In turn, Nick recoiled backward into Julie and knocked her and Luke to the floor. 

Carrie spun around furiously and chucked a handful of popcorn at Nick, instead it hit Julie in the face which had her leaning down to grab a handful of popcorn and chucking it at Carrie in retaliation, only instead it hit Flynn who had just stood up. 

Before anyone knew what had happened all four of them were running around throwing popcorn back and forth, as Nick moved to dump another bowl of popcorn on Julie's head Luke wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to the ground, in a moment he had her pressed against the floor with his whole body shielding hers from the waterfall of popcorn. 

As he sat up Julie realized that he was straddling her hips with his comforting weight pressing down on her stomach. Luke seemed to realize it at the same moment Julie did, his face flushed a bright pink and he froze on top of her, popcorn fight forgotten. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to block you from the popcorn…” he trailed off halfway through his explanation realizing he was still on top of her. He jumped up, one of his hands at the base of his neck messing with his hair. 

Julie stood up ignoring the flush of her cheeks and how her heartbeat had sped up, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Luke's exposed abs where his shirt had ridden up. Before Julie could say anything Lukes phone rang again, vibrating against the wood of the coffee table where he’d left it. 

He turned around and picked up the phone, when Julie leaned over his shoulder she could see that he had at least fifteen missed messages and ten missed calls. She could see his smile drop off his face as his muscles tensed beneath his shirt. Julie quickly gestured to Nick, Carrie, and Flynn trying to get them to quiet down. 

Luke's strong hands, calloused for so many hours of practice were shaking as he struggled to unlock his phone. “R-reg” he stuttered into the phone, Julie couldn’t hear his response but Luke's expression was pale and drawn with fear and anger “shit,” he said and the swear sounded unnatural coming from his lips “I’m coming, I’m on my way okay? Just take deep breaths.” Julie saw her dad enter the room and it was clear he was about to reprimand them when he noticed how quiet it was. “I’m not going anywhere okay? I’m not going to hang up okay but I need you to keep breathing, I know it does” it was hard to make sense of the conversation and before she had much of a chance Luke rushed past her. 

“Luke?” she asked following him to the entryway “I have to go Jules, emergency” he muttered clearly distracted. Julie's mind was reeling as he opened the door to leave and she was more than a little relieved when her dad grabbed his arm “where are you going?” he asked Luke, surprised and a bit cautious. 

“It’ll be fine, I just have to get to the beach,” Luke said but he seemed to be trying to convince himself at least as much as he was trying to convince her dad. “We’ll drive you,” he said pointedly, grabbing her arm and gently steering the two of them into the backseat of his car. 

Julie was so confused and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Luke who was still talking into the phone desperately. She didn’t think that he even knew she was there until his hand reached down and he tangled his fingers with hers, squeezing tightly as though to reassure himself. 

Julie did the only thing she could think to do, she squeezed back.


	4. Reggie's Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of love I have received from this story is blowing my mind! Thank you all so much for the comments they make my day.

His hands were shaking as Julie kept a firm grip on his fingers. Reggie's panting breaths echoed through the phone as they pulled up to the beach. “Reg, Reg I’m here okay, I’ll be there in like three seconds.”

Luke fumbled to unlock his seatbelt and he was out of the car before Ray could even park. His bare feet sunk into the sand as he half-ran half stumbled to the boy's old driftwood fort on the hill around the corner from Reggie's house. 

He was there alright, hunched over with his dark head between his knees breathing heavy. Luke slowed his approach knowing that sudden movements or noises would scare Reggie when he was like this. “Reg,” he said quietly, sinking into the damp sand. 

“Luke... it hurts” Reggie whispered as Luke crawled towards him. It took him a minute to get through the small tunnel, Reggie had always been better at it. Even though they were the same height and a similar build Reggie was always better at making himself small. 

“What hurts Reg?” Luke asked quietly, feeling his breath freeze in his lungs. Reggie shook his head frantically and another small sob escaped him. Luke had left his phone in the car so he couldn’t see what was wrong with Reggie's arm. “I’m sorry I ruined everything again, I didn’t want to go to your house because I knew you were with your family and so I came here instead… didn’t have anywhere to go” he muttered. “But I got so scared when you didn’t answer your phone” he whispered still further back in the fort than where Luke could reach. 

“It’s okay Reg, you didn’t ruin anything and you know you're always welcome at my place, now do you mind coming out here, please? I want to make sure you're okay and then we can go back to Bobby’s and watch Netflix or something.” He tried to make it seem nonchalant and he could dimly see Reggie nod and so he backed out of the fort waiting for Reggie to crawl out. It took a minute and Reggie kept whimpering and Luke kept reassuring him until he finally flopped forward into Luke's embrace. 

Luke wrapped an arm carefully around Reggie's waist, helping lift the bassist to his feet. He could hear Reggie grinding his teeth as he led him across the beach and suddenly the streetlight washed over them and Luke readjusted his grip and felt something thick and wet against his fingers. As he lifted his hand he could see that his hand was coated in scarlet blood. “Oh fuck!” he swore surprised, he never usually swore because it upset Reggie but he was not expecting that. 

Now that they had light he could see that it wasn’t just a little blood, his hands were covered as he tried to put pressure on Reggie's shoulder. “It’s still bleeding lots, huh?” Reggie asked “Nah, nah it’s not that bad” Luke replied but he could hear how high and unnatural his voice sounded “Reg what happened?” he asked as they continued back towards the Molina's car. 

He wanted to run to the car and get help or call an ambulance but they had no service here and if he left Reggie it would only scare him more. 

“They were fighting, not sure about what but it was really loud so I went downstairs and, I don’t really remember what happened next but one of them threw that ugly flowered vase from my grandma and I think it hit me… they didn't stop, they just kept yelling so I came out here cuz it’s quieter you know? But you weren’t answering your phone and I didn’t want to call Alex and…” Reggie trailed off pitifully as he leaned over a little more “I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to call you” he finished in a whisper leaning heavily into Lukes side. 

He was going to kill Reggie's parents, and Alex’s while he was at it, even if he went to prison for life it would be well worth it. Instead of voicing his thoughts he tried to comfort Reggie “It’s okay Reg, you did really well but we gotta take you to the hospital now so they can stitch up your arm. “I think my jackets ruined” Reggie whispered sadly, almost forcing a laugh from Luke “It’s fine and I wasn’t gonna tell you until tomorrow but I got you a new one, the old one didn’t fit you” Reggie's smile was bright, even in the dark. 

Suddenly the car door opened and Ray was rushing toward them “Luke whats-” he started “can you drive us to the hospital?” Ray’s eyes shone with confusion but he nodded and opened the back door for them. Luke helped Reggie in next to Julie who looked surprised and worried but moved over for them anyway. 

Reggies blood had completely soaked through the sleeve of his leather jacket and Luke's hoodie at this point. No one spoke on the drive except for Reggie's occasional quiet whimper, the bassist had his head pressed into Luke's chest and Luke had his hands applying pressure to Reggie's shoulder. 

Reggie was usually uncomfortable with physical affection from people he didn’t know but he was very happy with Julie running her fingers through his hair. Even in the circumstances, Luke couldn’t help his heart skipping a beat when he saw one of his best friends getting along so well with Julie. 

When they pulled up at the ER Luke helped Reggie out of the car and Ray ran around the other side to try and support Reggie but he pulled away from Ray's gentle touch and readjusted his position against Luke. 

As soon as they walked through the door a nurse came up to them and, seeing the blood-covered sweatshirt gestured to follow her “You’ll need to bring him in the back and only one of you can come” Luke nodded and started to help Reggie back “are you a family member?” the nurse asked looking at him dubiously before looking back to Ray “He’s my brother” Luke lied. 

The nurse could tell they weren’t brothers and she clearly didn’t know what to do considering Reggie had a death grip on Luke's shirt and he didn’t speak but his breathing increased slightly. Without waiting for the nurse to speak Luke led Reggie down the hall hoping she’d catch up. 

It seemed to work and she led Reggie and Luke to a room. 

About two hours later the doctor had removed all the porcelain pieces from Reggie's shoulder and stitched and bandaged the deep crisscrossing lacerations. Reggie was practically asleep on Luke's shoulder. 

They’d told the doctor that they were wrestling and Reggie accidentally got pushed into the vase, he didn’t think the doctor had actually believed them but she hadn’t said anything and that was good enough for him. 

Luke didn’t hear the door open but the doctor was trying to be quiet so Reggie could rest. “I have some bad news for you,” she said and Luke could almost feel his heart miss a beat as Reggie nuzzled closer to him, he was very out of it due to the pain meds and he was always more cuddly after a bad fight anyways. It made Luke worry about him a little too much. 

“I’m afraid your friend Reginald here doesn’t have any health insurance, or at least he hasn’t since he was around seven years old” Luke heard it but he didn’t process it. Ten years, it had been ten years since Reggie's parents had bothered to update his fucking health insurance. Luke took a deep shaky breath and let it slowly out of his lungs, at this point he was pretty used to moving past the issues of his friend's shitty parents. 

“I’m not sure what that means exactly,” Luke said wondering if they’d ever mentioned what to do in a situation like this in school when he’d been writing lyrics. “Unfortunately we won’t be able to let you boys leave until you can pay, could you call his parent or guardian?” Luke let out a sigh “ya I’ll call, just give me a second” she nodded “do you want me to let in the folks waiting for you two in now that we’re not in an ER room?” Luke wanted Julie here so badly right now, he wanted her in his arms. “They’re still here?” She nodded and left to go get them. 

Luke pulled out his phone awkwardly around Reggie's form, he wasn’t asleep but he was pretty out of it. There was some blood smeared on the screen and he wiped it off on the ruined Sunset Curve shirt. He scrolled through his contacts looking for the favorites list before clicking on his mom's name. 

“Luke?” her voice came through the line sounding a bit too relieved “Are you alright, where are you, why haven’t you been answering your phone?” she asked her voice rising throughout her questions and making Reggie stir against him. He tightened the arm that wasn’t holding his phone around Reggie before answering his mom. 

“I’m alright but I’m at the hospital with Reggie-” he pulled the phone away from his ear anticipating his mothers panicked shouting “are you hurt, is he hurt, why are you at the hospital!” he took a deep breath before starting to explain “I’m fine and Reg is okay now but he doesn’t have medical insurance and the doctor said we can’t leave until someone pays the bill” he could hear his Moms angry huff on the other line “fine we’re coming, I’m assuming his parents didn’t answer? Well either way your father and I will be there in a moment alright?” Luke nodded before remembering that she couldn’t see him “Ya thanks mom that sounds great, I’ll see you soon.” 

The timing was perfect and not even ten seconds after he hung up Julie and Ray came in. “is he alright?” Ray asked eyeing Reggie who was curled in a fetal position and practically wrapped around Lukes torso. “he’ll be fine he just had to get some stitches and, well he’ll be fine.” Julie crossed the room and sat next to Luke on the hospital bed. “What happened?” Ray asked his brow slightly furrowed although he didn’t seem angry. 

“He tripped and when he tried to steady himself he accidentally grabbed onto a vase and it broke his fall but he had a bunch of porcelain pieces in his shoulder, he had to get stitches,” Luke said quickly. “But he’s okay now?” Julie asked and he nodded in confirmation, offering her a small smile. 

Even the sound of her voice made some of the tension melt from his shoulders. And she was there even though it was getting pretty late and she seemed close to falling asleep on his shoulder much like Reggie had. 

“I’m so sorry I ruined your Christmas” Luke said quietly to Ray lowering his eyes sheepishly. All he wanted was to put his head in his hands and never look up again. 

“Luke,” Ray started laying a hand on his shoulder “you haven’t ruined anything, to be honest, I’m just glad we were there to help” a small smile spread across his face “thank you for everything, I mean you let me come over and you left your party to help me when you don’t even really know me, so thank you” Ray nodded again “You’re a good kid Luke and I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of you around soon” that time Luke couldn’t keep the wide grin from his face. “I’ll be outside calling Julie’s aunt,” Ray said patting Luke's shoulder before leaving. 

Julie stirred against Luke's shoulder at the sound of the door shutting, before sitting up and wiping her eyes blearily “hi” she said quietly. “Hey, you okay?” he could see Julies eyes roving around the room and she looked a bit pale “I don’t really like hospitals,” she said quietly. In response, Luke felt a stab of guilt in his stomach as he reached out to touch her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry Jules” she shook her head, brown curls bouncing “It’s not your fault and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to,” she said leaning into his chest. Suddenly Julie shot up with a cry “ew your shirts covered in blood” she added cringing away from him as she noticed. Luke eyed his attire grumpily “I know but I don’t have anything to change into…” he trailed off, it was creeping him out a little more than he cared to admit. 

“I uh… I have something you could use if you want” Julie stuttered, her cheeks flaming “oh ya okay that sound’s great if your sure you don’t mind?” she shook her head “no no it’s fine” for a moment they sat there in silence before Julie untied the oversized yellow smiley face sweater she’d had on earlier and handed it to him. 

He could feel his face flushing but it was more from happiness than embarrassment. He turned around and pulled off his shirt, without even thinking about it he threw the Sunset Curve shirt in the trash and pulled on Julie's sweater. It was big enough that it fit him well and with a small glance between them Luke sat down next to Julie once more, this time she didn't hesitate to lean on him as her eyes closed and a peaceful look overtook her features.

Luke smiled at the soft look on her face and tightened his grip on her slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is my birthday, are birthday reviews a thing? Anyway if you liked the story please review, more reviews mean quicker updates.


	5. Merry Christmas I Guess...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time and I'm sorry but I was super busy with finals. I also know this chapter isn't as long as some of the others but it just felt like the right place to end it. I really hope you all like this chapter, tell me what you think!

Luke's parents showed up about thirty minutes later with disapproving looks glued onto their faces, Mitch was eyeing Ray’s overly bright Christmas sweater which had actual electric lights sewn into it while Emily looked over Julie with an unreadable expression. However, when they looked at Luke the familiar disappointment was still there. “Luke,” his mother said sternly “we need to get going, bring Reggie along god knows I don’t want him going back home” 

He only nodded in response, the last of his earlier happiness fading as his hand automatically lifted to run through his hair. He gently shook Reggie “hey Reg we’re going to my place okay” Reggie didn’t say anything but managed a kind of humming sound before burying his face further into Luke's side. 

Julie stirred at the movement, blinking up at him with beautiful brown eyes ``you're leaving?” she said and he only nodded silently “okay then I guess I’ll see you soon” they stared at each other a moment too long before Julie looked away. 

His parents were waiting outside the room and as much as he wanted to introduce Julie they were in a bad mood right now and he didn’t want them to be cold towards her. Julie looked like she was expecting an introduction to but he knew he couldn’t handle that right now. She seemed to realize that it wasn’t happening at the moment because she leaned forward and awkwardly embraced Luke “Merry Christmas” she said “Merry Christmas” he responded as his heart stuttered in his chest. 

She looked beautiful and a little sad “Sorry I dragged you all here, it’s Christmas eve, and I kind of ruined your holiday” he stopped when he saw Julie shaking her head “You didn’t ruin anything, Luke, I’m glad we met'' his hand jumped to the back of his neck, twisting his light brown hair around his fingers. “I’m glad we met too! And uh merry Christmas!'' he exclaimed again, even though he felt a bit silly it was worth it to see Julie smile. 

He continued muttering apologies and well wishes until the door closed behind him. With a groan, he hoisted Reggie further into his arms “How bad was that?” Luke asked the black-haired boy but Reggie only laughed in response, stumbling slightly as Luke tightened his grip around his friend's waist. 

Their small party of four walked in awkward silence and Luke could already feel the hollowness in his chest from being without Julie, how had he lived like that for seventeen years? 

“You miss her don’t you?” Reggie asked glancing over at him looking like the sleep meds were wearing off a little now that he was up and moving “No of course not it’s been like three seconds I’m fine” Reggie didn’t say anything but he raised an eyebrow at Luke “ya alright fine I miss her, happy?” Luke asked he could almost hear Alex and Bobby making fun of him. “I think it’s kinda sweet,” Reggie said quietly. 

Luke smiled as he and Reggie slid into the backseat of his parent's car “Thanks Reg” he said tiredly as the bassist curled into his side and Luke rested his head on top of Reggies while being careful of his friend's shoulder. “I’m sorry I messed up your special night with Julie” Reggie mumbled “You didn’t mess anything up Reg and nothing will ever be more important than you feeling safe.” Reggie nodded but he didn’t look like he believed it any more than Luke believed he hadn’t messed up the Molina’s Christmas. 

“Is Alex still coming over tomorrow, dear?” Emily asked with a fake smile firmly fixed in place “Yes he is'' Luke said shutting down any further attempts for conversation. He was still mad and with his parents and it didn’t take much to set them off either way. 

When they arrived at the Patterson residence some of his family members were still milling about the kitchen. There were a lot of disapproving looks that he ignored, leading Reggie through the well-decorated house and into his room. 

The rest of the house was well organized and decorated in a thousand variations of beige. Luke’s room stood out in sharp contrast, his walls were blue and covered in peeling posters of his favorite bands. His bedding was a twisted pile of red and blue flannel that was more on the ground than the bed at that point and every surface was covered in clothes and crumpled up sheets of notebook paper with half thought out lyrics he had written and never presented to the band. 

Reggie was still a little out of it from all the painkillers and he practically collapsed onto the bed. Luke rolled his eyes and threw Reggie one of his shirts and some of Alex’s sweatpants and some earbuds knowing Reggie would sleep better with background noise, and that it would hopefully block out the noise his mother was sure to make “I’ll be back in a minute Reg if you get tired just go to sleep in the bed” Reggie mumbled something as Luke left the room. 

His family was mulling around silently giving him terrible looks when they thought he wasn’t looking and eyeing the yellow sweater. “If you’ve got something to say say it and if not you can silently judge someone else!” Luke said angrily as his mom grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from his disgusted relatives. 

She shut the bedroom door before pinning Luke with that gaze. As she started rambling what originally seemed like it could have been concerned for him and Reggie turned into a very in-depth lecture about his terrible habits. 

He was mostly checked out as his mom shouted, the subject changed from how irresponsible he was to how selfish he was to his terrible communication skills to how his current choice of clothing made him look to the family. Nothing stopped her when she got like this and Luke was too tired to yell back so he leaned against the wall while his mother continued on and eventually circled back to his music. 

When she finally stopped for a breath nearly an hour later Luke had still done nothing but sit there. Honestly, at this point, he wasn’t even upset about it and that made it even worse, he barely cared and he wanted to, he wanted to be 14 years old and crying. He didn’t like the empty feeling in his stomach that came from loving someone who never understood him but he barely even cared enough to fight her anymore. 

When she stopped shouting Luke pushed himself off the wall and walked to the door, before he left he turned around and looked at his mom's teary face “She’s great, absolutely amazing, in case you were wondering” he said quietly before walking outside and shutting the door. 

He walked down the highway and opened the door to his room, there was a thin fleece blanket on the floor next to some pillows and notebooks, brushing aside the broken pencil pieces and scattered papers out of the way and laying the blanket on the ground. 

Slipping into the bathroom Luke brushed his teeth and threw on some shorts to sleep in. For a moment Luke pressed his face against the cool mirror and tried to just take deep breaths and to not focus on his mother's harsh words. 

When he left the bathroom he flicked off the light and grabbed the ratty old blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders over Julie's sweatshirt as he sank to the floor. He lay on his back staring up at the glow in the dark stars that Reggie and Alex had decorated his room with. He plugged his earbuds in and put on the playlist that contained every song Julie had ever quoted on her skin. 

A lot of the songs weren’t his style but he could still appreciate them and especially some of the lyrics. 

He wasn’t paying any attention until he heard the words “every time you hurt me the less that I cry, and every time you leave me the quicker these tears dry” with a quiet sigh Luke sat up and pressed his hands into his face. He would do anything for those words not to be true but they were, he barely even cared anymore but for the first time in months the tears came anyway. 

It wasn’t the uncontrollable sobbing from when he was a kid, just a few silent tears but somehow that didn’t make it any better. He wished he could still sob over his mother's harsh words but he could barely even care anymore. 

As he lay sprawled on his back looking up at the stars he reached over and pulled out his phone. The light washed over his tired features as he opened his contacts clicking the add person button Luke put in Julie's number. 

Today 12:00 AM  
Luke: Merry Christmas  
Jules 🦋: Merry Christmas!!!🎄

With a sigh, Luke wiped the last tears from his cheeks, put his phone on the nightstand, and settled down to try and get some sleep before morning came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let you know I am not and will not abandon this, or any of my stories. If I lose inspiration I promise to write a final chapter to wrap things up.


	6. My Brightest Burning Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been forever but I've been insanely busy with school and looking for a place to live, as much as it sucks sometimes grades and sleep have to take priority over writing. But I finally got a chapter finished and I think it turned out okay so if anyone is still reading please tell me what you think, I love hearing your opinions, theories, and ideas so drop a comment and let me know what you want to happen next :)

Luke pulled himself out of bed in the morning to find his parents sitting around the table eating pancakes and eggs, Reggie sat beside them with his eyes fixed on his food. He liked Luke's parents well enough but adults made him uncomfortable and he really only spoke when he was spoken to. 

Luke pulled the chair back and sat down next to his best friend, he ate his food without a word, and if anyone noticed they didn’t say anything. It was awkward, to say the least, but he didn’t know how to bridge the silence between them, not anymore. 

There were so many times in the beginning where he’d tried to explain himself, he’d try to say that his heart only beat for music and he’d rather die than live without it but she’d only respond by saying he was being dramatic. Even when she heard him, which wasn’t often, she never listened and all those times she’d never understood him had been one more inch in the distance between them. Now all of a sudden the end seemed inevitable, like everything he’d done had slowly pushed her away until he couldn’t reach out for her anymore. 

He wanted to talk to Alex and Reggie but how could he? They had real problems with their family and what was he supposed to say, ‘hey guys I fight with my mom sometimes and I just wanted to let you know’ it sounded stupid even in his head. 

Then there was Julie, she shone brighter in the fading lights of Luke's life. He didn’t think he’d seen her in her full glory yet but damn, that girl was like the sun. The warmth and kindness she radiated made Luke feel accepted like maybe he didn’t have to hide. He felt like maybe she saw him. There was something there that he didn’t know yet but he wanted to, he wanted to know everything about her. 

She was just so bright and warm and kind and he really liked her. He probably liked her more than he had any right to having known her for less than 24 hours. But she was so beautiful and she smelled so good and she had the nicest smile…

“Luke,” Reggie said squeezing his knee under the table. “Huh?’ Luke asked as his daydream slipped away from him. He blinked a couple of times before coming back completely. He was already reaching for the pen he kept in his pocket next to a piece of notebook paper. 

You are my brightest burning star  
We come to life  
You set me free 

It wasn’t much but he thought maybe the words would turn into something later. His family sat watching him with different expressions but no one said anything, by now they were used to it. When he folded the paper his mom forced that smile onto her face and ignored his tapping fingers as she cleared away the barely touched breakfast. 

“Well, it’s Christmas morning why don’t we open some presents?” His mom suggested. The family nodded and walked to the living room sitting around the tree. Luke just wanted to leave but he didn’t want to upset his parents or Reggie who, having no idea what a functional family looked like, was quite content with the quiet that had settled over the Patterson home. 

So Luke sat there in silence unwrapping an array of plain colored t-shirts and flannels. His parents watched him open the gifts and smiled at every forced smile Luke gave, he honestly wasn’t even sure they knew the difference anymore. 

The heaviness had settled back in his chest but he kept smiling at Reggie who seemed much happier than Luke, and that was all the mattered right? 

When he finished opening his gifts Luke hadn't gotten a single personal gift. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, he just wished he’d gotten one present that actually represented who he was rather than denying it. They’d even gotten him a tie and a few popular books. He almost screamed when they gave Reggie a box with some guitar picks in it. 

When the morning was over both boys thanked Luke's parents before Luke grabbed his own presets for his friends before leaving with Reggie to walk to Bobby’s. Normally they rode bikes but Reggie's shoulder still hurt and Luke had to carry the gifts so walking it was. 

Halfway there his phone started ringing. He pulled it out to look and saw the name Emily on the screen. He silenced it and tucked it back in his pocket. “Was that your mom?” Reggie asked with furrowed eyebrows, probably wondering why Luke didn’t answer and just shrugged his shoulders. 

He probably should have answered but he was still upset and he honestly just needed a breath of fresh air. He hadn’t felt like he could breathe since he’d left Julie at the hospital and… “Julie!” Luke suddenly exclaimed, reaching for his phone in a panic. “Luke, what’s wrong?” Reggie asked looking halfway between confused and amused “I told Julie I’d call her in the morning and it’s almost 2:00” Suddenly Reggie was laughing, his cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkling. 

“She won’t care, dude, it’s Christmas morning and she seems pretty great. I mean you could even invite her over later if you wanted” Reggie's words made Luke’s finger hesitate over the call button. It may not have seemed like much but this was their special tradition, the one thing they’d always done together and he was inviting Julie. 

They’d never even invited Bobby and he had just invited Julie. Luke could feel heat pricking at his eyes. “You know it’s kinda our thing but that means a lot Reg.” 

They spent the rest of their walk laughing and talking until they reached Bobby’s garage, normally they did this at Luke's place but things had changed. “Hey Reg I’m gonna call Julie for a minute, just wish her Merry Christmas” Reggie nodded and flopped down on the couch next to the small pile of messily wrapped gifts the boys had gotten for each other. 

Luke stood just outside the studio door with his finger hovering over the call button. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, it was just Julie, right? Pressing the phone to his ear Luke waited with bated breath to hear Julies voice. 

After what felt like an eternity but was actually only two rings Julie picked up. “Hey Luke, Merry Christmas!” she said and he could practically hear her smile “Merry Christmas Jules” for a minute they didn’t say anything and they just listened to the background noise. Finally Luke spoke up, wanting to hear her voice “Did you have a good morning?” he asked eagerly. He knew he was doing Reggies puppy energy thing again but he didn’t care. “I had a good morning, how about you?” 

Something about her words felt off; it was the first time she hadn’t seemed 100 percent genuine. “Oh uh okay,” he said lamely. What was the protocol for this situation? He couldn’t explain how but he knew with absolute certainty that she was lying to him. 

“Luke, are you okay?” her voice asked over the line, concern, and confusion wrapped around the words. “Uh ya” she paused for a moment “you’re lying to me” she replied and somehow he could imagine her nose crinkling. “Well you lied to me first” he responded, the words were sharp but his voice was soft, he wasn’t angry, just confused. 

“Oh, you caught that, ” she said sounding sad and resigned “Ya.” Silence again. “I just miss my mom” Julie finally said and without thinking, Luke said, “me too.” 

Shit, that was such a stupid thing to say I totally cut you off and..” “It’s alright Luke,” she said with such sincerity that Luke actually believed her. “What happened to your mom Jules?” he asked quietly. He wasn’t sure if she’d want to talk about it but he was so curious. “She died last year, cancer” Luke could feel his throat tighten. 

Julies mom was dead and she’d had cancer and Luke was going on about his stupid problems again. “This is only my second Christmas without her and even though things are better than before it still hurts.” Something in his chest tightened again but this time it wasn’t his pain he felt, it was hers. “I’m so sorry Jules” he heard her sniffle on the line and realized she was crying. 

He’d made her cry on Christmas, that had to make him like the worst soulmate ever. “So uh, what happened to your mom?” Julie asked quietly. A wave of nausea swept through him and his breath hitched, why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut. 

“It’s not important,” Luke muttered, pressing his fist against his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but it’s important if it means something to you because you're important Luke” a hot tear slid down his cheek. 

“My mom is fine, she’s at home right now, I just… We don’t get along. She doesn’t approve of me being in a band or…” he stopped himself before mentioning the soulmate issues, that was the last thing Julie needed to hear. “All she ever does is remind me that who I am is wrong, she’s passive-aggressive and it’s just everything she says hurts. It didn’t use to be like that, we used to be close but I guess things change.” 

For a moment Julie was quiet and Luke pressed his face closer to the phone before she responded with a sniffle “I’m so sorry Luke, I guess we both know what it’s like to lose our Mom.” 

Julie's words surprised him and instantly brought more tears to his eyes. He’d never let himself think about the issues with his mom as anything other than a small background issue to the chaos of his friends' lives. All the times he had been convinced of his inadequacy, certain he was being stupid or dramatic and Julie had just compared his issues to her own after her mother died. Her simple response had measured his own pain against hers and presented them as equal. 

In a few quick words, Julie had seen him in a way no one else ever had and she’d accepted it in the way he’d always needed from his own family, she had validated his pain, she saw him. 

And he was in love with her, oh god, he loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize it's not fair to ask you all to leave comments when I don't reply to them so I will try much harder to reply to all my comments from now on.


	7. So We Push All Our Fears Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated in less than a month, are you all proud of me? Anyway, I hope you all love this chapter, leave a kudos or comment because it makes my day!

Alex showed up ten minutes after the end of Luke's phone call with wet cheeks. Both boys jumped up from the couch and crashed into a tangled hug, hands clumsily patting Alex’s back and hair as they made their way to the pull-out couch. “Are you alright?” Reggie asked him with that child-like devotion he was so known for, Alex shrugged and sniffled in response. 

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” he replied quietly. Luke and Reggie accepted his answer and pulled away from the hug. Luke left his hand on Alex's shoulder and Reggie stayed tucked into his side. 

Luke turned on the TV and put on Love Actually, the three of them settled into their usual rhythm, lounged across the couches and laughing like the kids they pretended to be. They just messed around and talked about the band and the new guitar Luke had been saving for since 8th grade. Turns out being a teenage musician who had to pay rent on a studio (Bobby’s parents made them pay as preparation for the ‘real world’) and had no job didn’t leave a lot of money to spare. 

They had just gotten to the part of the movie where Sam's father asks him if he doesn’t think he’s too young to be in love. The little boy turns his face to his father's and says “no.” Plain and simple like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Julie loves that part” Luke commented remembering her snuggled into her side watching the screen with wistful eyes. “Who’s Julie?” Alex asked without looking away from the screen. Reggie and Luke both looked at each other with wide eyes “hey what did you guys do?” Alex asked suspiciously. 

Reggies shocked expression melted away to a teasing grin “Julie is the love of Luke's life” he said almost giggling behind his hand. “Oh,” Alex said, raising an eyebrow and leaning forward to look at Luke “What happened to waiting for your soulmate?” Alex asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Who said he’s not?” Reggie replied with an evil grin. 

“What! What!” Alex screamed, jumping to his feet “you met… what!” Luke stood up and grabbed Alex’s hands “Yes I met her dude, now calm down” Luke started laughing at his friend's reaction. “How’d you meet,” Alex asked “Ya you never actually told me” Reggie realized leaning closer and trying to push Alex out of the way. After their brief (and rather pitiful) wrestling match subsided Luke started to recount the story. 

“Well I met her ice skating, she crashed into me and I hit my head on the barrier” he started feeling the smile stretch across his face “so that’s how you got the..” Alex trailed off gesturing to the cut on Luke's forehead “you cleaned it right?” he asked “Um I put ice on it?” he replied watching as Alex rolled his eyes "please keep telling the story!” Reggie jumped in. 

“I will if you don’t interrupt me,” Luke said rolling his eyes at his friends “So after she crashed into me she panicked and made me sit down and went to get ice. Then when she came back and took off her gloves so she could put ice on my forehead and her fingers touched my skin that was it.” he had this soft smile on his face and he knew he probably looked like a dork but he didn’t care. 

“That’s soooooo romantic” Reggie squealed leaning over with a bright smile. Alex’s reaction was more subdued but no less joyful “what did it feel like?” Alex asked, looking at Luke with anxious excitement “It was amazing. It’s like, I don’t even know how to describe it, it’s kind of like going home for the first time.” 

Alex had a bright satisfied smile on his face and Reggie looked sad. “What’s wrong Reg?” Alex asked and Reggie just shrugged his shoulders “I don’t want you to leave” he said simply looking to Luke. “I’m not going anywhere Reg, at least not without you, okay?” Reggie nodded and settled back into the couch. 

They talked through some parts of the movie and shushed each other during others but it was all okay because it was Alex and Reggie. 

When the movie ended Alex had to wake Reggie up for presents “who wants to go first?” Alex asked lifting Reggie up so he was sitting by himself. “I’ll go,” Luke said, sitting up and reaching for the first terribly wrapped present and handing it to Alex “Oh Luke, I can’t believe you got me a ball of duct tape it’s just what I always wanted!” Alex exclaimed sarcastically as Luke placed the package in his lap “just open it Lex” he replied. “I honestly don’t know how” Alex said picking at the tape “just give it to me!” Luke started impatiently ripping open the package and handing it back to his friend when he’d removed the first layer of tape. 

After that, Alex had an easier time and after another minute he finally managed to get the package open. “Oh Luke,” Alex said looking down at the purple blanket in his hands his eyes welled up with tears “I-I’m sorry” Luke stuttered surprised by his friends reaction “I just know you love purple and it was really soft and your parents don’t let you have things like this so I thought you might like to keep it in your room or something. I know soft things help with your anxiety and-” before he could finish his rant Alex threw himself onto Luke. 

His arms wrapped around Alex in confusion. “No Luke it was perfect I- thank you” Alex choked out. Luke wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders “you're welcome” he said as Alex pulled back sniffling a little. 

“And here's yours Reggie but you already know what it is.” he said as Alex wrapped his fingers around the fluffy purple fabric. “I do?” Reggie asked looking at Luke with a confused expression “Just open it Reg” Reggie pulled at the tape ad had his gift open in less than ten seconds “How did you do that?” Alex asked, looking at Reggie in shock as the bassist pulled his gift out. “Oh I remember now” Reggie said softly “you got me a new jacket” he pulled on the retro 90’s jacket with a bright smile “does it fit?” Luke asked nervously “Yes it definitely totally fits perfectly thank you!” Reggie replied with a bright grin, words tumbling out over each other in his excitement. 

“Can you help me put it on?” Reggie asked Luke “Of course Reg” he replied standing up and helping ease the jacket onto Reggie's shoulders. Reggie winced and hissed a little through his teeth “Are you okay Reg? Do you need more painkillers?” Alex stood up “What are you talking about” he whispered his eyes wide “Is Reggie okay?” 

Reggie and Luke shared another glance “What else aren’t you telling me?” Alex asked, breath uneven and fingers tapping out a rhythm against his thigh “Hey it’s fine Alex, okay? Reggie just had a little accident last night and I had to take him to the ER but he’s okay he just needed some stitches.” Luke tried to soothe Alex pushing him back against the couch. “How did I not know about this?” he whispered looking nervously at Reggie “Last night was pretty crazy you kinda missed a lot and I didn’t text you because I knew your parents had your phone ad I didn’t want you to see a message later and have a panic attack,” Luke explained. 

“Okay but you’re alright?” Alex asked looking over Reggie “I’m not… it doesn’t hurt much'' Reggie stuttered out avoiding saying he was fine when he really wasn’t. Luke could tell. “What happened?” Alex asked “my parents got in a fight and I don’t think they knew I was there but one of them threw a vase and it hit my shoulder” “Reg!” Alex started eyes blown wide “It’s okay, I mean it’s not but..” Reggie trailed off into silence. 

“Do you want to keep doing presents?” Reggie asked after a minute. “Sure,” the other two agreed, settling back down on the couch. 

Reggie got Alex a pink teddy bear which made Alex go teary-eyed again and Alex got Reggie an extra soft flannel and a necklace which made Reggie way too happy for a normal person. Finally, they got to Luke and he was practically vibrating with excitement, they always made him go last just because they knew how excited he got. 

None of the gifts were spectacular or life-changing but they were all special to him. From Reggie he received new band t-shirts with the sleeves already cut off and some rings, Alex gave him a new notebook with a sunset curve sticker on the front and a hastily scrawled note on the inside. Luke smiled at his friends and changed into one of the shirts "Thanks guys, Merry Christmas!” Luke said slingin his arm around Alex’s shoulders and ruffling her hair. “Do you want to practice now?” Luke asked and Alex rolled his eyes but agreed, pushing Luke to the floor in his haste to get to the drums. 

The practice laughed for about an hour and a half before they decided to take a break. A word that didn’t exist in Luke's vocabulary (except for right now because Reggie was in pain.) 

When the sun started to set they set out back home. Reggie insisted on going back home and said his dad wouldn’t be home anyways and his mom would be fine as long as that remained true. Luke knew he probably just felt bad and didn’t want to sleep over at Lukes again which was ridiculous considering Emily would be a lot more concerned about Reggie’s whereabouts than she ever was with Luke. 

Alex was also going home but at least in his case Luke only had to worry about his quickly deteriorating mental state and not actually having him bleed out. All three boys lived in different directions so Alex and Reggie decided to just walk home alone with their gifts and smiles on their faces that probably wouldn’t last for much longer. 

Luke locked up the garage and then stood on the sidewalk, he could always just sleep here if he needed to. But his mom was already pissed, either way, he’d have to stay out for at least a few more hours to make sure his parents were asleep when he came home. 

Suddenly his phone dinged. 

Today 6:30 PM  
Jules 🦋: Hey, what r u doing?  
Luke: I’m just hanging at the studio   
Jules 🦋: Do you wanna come over?   
Luke: Yes, sure, if u don’t mind?  
Jules 🦋: Of course I don’t mind, I invited you over  
Luke: Okay I’ll be over there in a minute. 

Luke grabbed a skateboard Bobby left laying around the yard and started towards Julie's house. When he got there Julie was sitting on the porch with her hair down, the porchlights reflecting off her curls, she looked radiant. 

“Hey Jules,” He said, feeling his heart clench as a too-big smile spread across his face, god he wanted to hug her. “Hey Luke” she said with a soft smile. "Do you wanna come in, we’re having spaghetti for dinner if you’re hungry." she said “Ya sure that sounds great, thank you!” 

The two made their way inside laughing and talking quietly. Luke had been terrified that things would be weird after their phone call but it wasn’t it was just easy. And people were not easy for Luke. 

He’d always been too much for most people, too loud, too excited, too passionate, too different. Then their were some people who no matter what he did he wasn’t enough. 

But Julie was different too, special. 

“Hey, Luke you coming inside or-” Julie started turning to look at him “no, I mean yes I’m coming inside” He stuttered out following Julie inside as she rolled her eyes at him fondly. 

Dinner went well and didn’t end until 8:30 which was great, if he left now he wouldn’t even be home until 9:00 which wasn’t late enough but if he stopped at Bobby’s for a while he could write and that would take up at least some time. 

“Well it’s getting late Luke, you should probably get home so your parents don’t worry,” Ray said eventually Luke nodded and thanked them for dinner before saying goodnight to Julie and grabbing his stuff to leave. 

Luke ended up sitting on the sidewalk in front of the Molina’s garage for a while, he just wanted to be near her a little longer. 

Then through the silence of the night, a light melody drifted through the cool evening air. When he heard the singing start his whole body straightened, he knew that voice, she was amazing. 

Luke made his way over to the garage and peered through the window, watching Julie play, she was breathtaking and her voice was like an angel’s, power pulsing out around her as she sang like her life depended on it. She was like him he realized, music was the part of her that had been missing but that only left one question, why had she lied to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear some theories or ideas y'all have for this story, constructive criticism is always welcome and all you have to do is hit the review button!


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